The first step, following a thousand

This journey waxes and wanes, being always in progress yet never having started. Even without having taken a step down that slippery slope, there are moments when you feel that you are about to tumble head over heels to whatever lay before you. This was one of those nights.

You see, we are destined to move to Vermont. Many times we have thought otherwise, as though there were different places there we might end up, or other places we might go... Or maybe even stay here. But it is all a sham. Vermont is where the winds will take us, once we stop pretending that there is some other path for us.

See, I live in a city in Oregon (some might say the only city in Oregon, and some might say that there are no cities in Oregon), and I've never lived anywhere else. Aside from it getting too hot in the summer, I've always liked it here. Well, when all sorts of people started coming here from all over (about 15 years ago), I started liking it less, but the lessening hadn't really taken hold yet, 5 years ago when I convinced a girl to move here from Brooklyn. She didn't want to, and she wishes that she didn't, and I wish that I hadn't stayed. I don't like it here anymore, and things haven't gone well. After being involved in a stifling and ruin-inspiring small business here for four years, we finally sold it 7 months ago and were free to try and put things back together, and start our thoughts of moving east. The sale was an awkward plan, where they paid us a little bit monthly and then a (too small) lump sum at the end. Well, the end has maybe come, without coming. We heard today that they may default on paying. So what now? Just be ruined and get out of here is what we are thinking... But there are so many loose-ends to tie up in a thing like this, all of which take time and money that we don't have.. and then there is the reality of what to do about this default?

I don't know. So I thought I'd start another blog to help myself ponder it through, so here goes Orygone, the blog of getting gone from Oregon.